Have you ever been tempted by a pile of broken glass? A pile of smashed fluorescent tubes so smooth and perfectly arced, yet ragged, jagged and impossibly sharp that it calls to you? Have you ever come upon a pile of glass like that and just wanted to rip off your shirt and belly flop into it - just to see what true excruciating, agonizing pain is all about?

That is what I felt like staring down at the cover of Paul Kidd's novel “Descent into the Depths of the Earth” as it sat quite innocuously on the wire paperback racks of the library.

Having once been an avid player of Dungeons and Dragons during the golden years of the early 1980's, I've always had soft spot for the trappings of fantasy – bold warriors in metal armor, vicious dragons and maidens fair (or at least barely clad) – but for all my life I have never liked fantasy fiction. Seriously. As a pre-teen I enjoyed the Hobbit and the first two books of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but the third book sucked and every book after that which resembled it sucked likewise (you know the ones: glossy covered books with photo-realistic covers from the 'special' section of the bookstore, the section that rides the short bus to literaryville).

I didn't have much luck with the Star Trek clones across the aisle either. For sci-fi and fantasy I basically read the classics and then effortlessly moved on to horror and then modern lit. As an adult I want to read fantasy lit but only because I want to write fantasy lit. If I could take it in pill form I probably would.

So this book, before I ever even picked it up, had more strikes against it than is allowed in a game of baseball.

Strike One: It's fantasy.

Strike Two: It's basically a cover to cover product-placement advertisement for the Dungeons & Dragons Game.

Strike Three: Games rarely carry gracefully into any other form of media (see Uwe Bolle, or better - don't).

Strike Four: It's also a rehash of the adventure module D1-2 Descent into the Depths of the Earth, which I know from first hand experience is one of the most boring and tedious D&D Adventures of all time (why couldn't they have done I1 Dwellers of the Forbidden City!!!!).

Strike Five: crème de la flem, it's got fairies in it. You like fairies don't you? (think raisin's and the John Cusack classic 'Better off Dead')

But what the hell? Iggy Pop used to routinely dive on broken glass for his stage shows back in the 1970's – and he turned out okay. Actually Iggy turned out looking like the Lich on the dust jacket, but I picked up the book and checked it out anyways.

And sucked it did.

At least for the first few pages.

I couldn't help but feel like I was watching a really bad high school play where the actors kept knocking over the props. The sudden appearance of D&D contrivances didn't help either. Just the mention of stirges brought to mind rubber bats floating from monofilament wires suspended by fishing poles. The characters slap healing spells on themselves like Head-On aspirin sticks (Cure Light Wounds – Apply Directly To Your Forehead! Directly To Your Forehead!)

Quickly though, my prejudices began to drop away. I read at a calm but growing pace and then found myself taking time out from everything else in life to finish it.

This book rocks!

Although it does get off to a bit of a clunky start (possibly because it jumps right in without much explanation, apparently it's a sequel, who would have guessed?) What Kidd does beautifully is hit us with some truly great, distinct, and engaging characters. The Justicar and his flame-throwing hell-hound helmet Cinders are a hoot but without being slapstick stand-ups. Escalla – the fairy - is so innocent and yet totally bawdylicious that you will never look at Disney's Tinkerbell the same way again. Unlike much of stock fantasy fiction, you never find yourself stuck wondering who is who. They are all heroes you want to meet or villians you want to beat.

Another magnificent thing Kidd does is spare us the adventure modules themselves – which were 90% repetitive hack-n-slash. He distills the matter of adventuring in the underdark down to its most outstanding elements. He gets the atmosphere right, the eerie black light sheens, the nasty smells and slimy feels. Strangely it almost feels like travel fiction, ringing with nostalgia for a place which never was yet many of us spent many long hours visiting – god only knows why (have you been to the Piercer's Grotto? Oh you must go there once before you die!)

We get battle scenes – Kidd's specialty to be sure – but it's never the same kind of battle twice. How Escala disposes of an especially pesky Beholder is excellent (help! I'm running out of superlatives!).

And of course, there is the bloody climax, and -wow- what an affair it is. Not for the faint of heart. It's got more blood-ripping gore than an entire season of Metalocalypse. In fact, at the final showdown I almost expected to find Nathan Explosion up on stage barking off a salvo of cookie monster rock through towering speakers. About whom perhaps? Well, you'll just have to read the book and find out.

All in all it's more fun than a gelatinous cube in a 7/11. Forget the tackiness of Dungeons & Dragons or that god-awful pant load of a movie they made a few years back. Read some Paul Kidd. If you have a sense of humor you won't be disappointed.

And if you're a Hollywood bigwig looking to make a movie? Definitely check this one out.

I even have the perfect actor to play the lich – Iggy Pop!

Hoopy!